The Lazy Reviewer Thread

[Jay]

If you feel like telling everyone how you felt about something but don't want to write a 5 page paper, this thread is for you! Leave a score and/or a few sentences about something you liked, and be on your way! I'll start:

Portal 2 (PC) - 8.5

Very fun game, and a definite improvement over the original. Humor was actually funny this time. Great Co-Op mode. Creative, but its lack of replayability and limited scope keep it from being amazing. If you can get it for $30 or less, go for it. Otherwise wait.

 

[Logan]

I don't think you've read a lot of our reviews around here! Here's a couple of gems:

http://forums.gamerhandles.com/showthread.php/4199-Movie-Hot-Shots-Part-Deux

http://forums.gamerhandles.com/showthread.php/2197-Game-Megaman-10

And of course, a quick review for the "Lost in Nightmares" DLC

I like the new dlc in this game cause andrew came to save me and wesker kicked him in the head and he flew 50 feet.

 

[Bayli]

Catherine Demo: 8/10

It's different! It only lets you play on Easy, but I didn't particularly mind because it's notoriously difficult and it lets you get the gist of the controls.

The art style is REALLY appealing and I think the voice acting is well done. Makes me eager to play the full game!

 

[Andrew]

Singularity: 4/10

A poor mans Bioshock. Story sucked, voice acting sucked, and gameplay was extremely bland. Point is, fuck fruit!

 

[scrappy]

this thread:

2/10

 

[Oobs]

this thread:

2/10

your life
-9001/10

 

[Andrew]

your life
-9001/10

 

[Jay]

this thread:

2/10

[video=youtube;rMsM3JwsGJc]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMsM3JwsGJc&feature=player_embedded[/video]

 

[scrappy]

your life
-9001/10

[video=youtube;K5d5jxJ5vbM]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5d5jxJ5vbM[/video]



also...

dead space 2

9/10 - its scary

 

[Logan]

[video=youtube;umDr0mPuyQc]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umDr0mPuyQc&feature=related[/video]

 

[Jay]

Batman: Arkham Asylum GOTY Edition (Xbox 360) - 9.7

Amazing game. Among the best I've ever played.

 

[Andrew]

Batman: Arkham Asylum GOTY Edition (Xbox 360) - 9.7

Amazing game. Among the best I've ever played.

Better than DNF, Deus Ex, and Bioshock 2! What a shocker Jay! Your telling us what we all knew 2 years ago.
But 9.7 outta 10, come on. Its an 11/10 easy.

 

[Jay]

Really? You're complaining over a 9.7!?

 

[Andrew]

I'm complaining that you gave it such a cutesy score. A 9 freaking .7, come on Jay. It's a complete 10/10. Don't try justifying otherwise.

 

[Jay]

Because there are a few things I nitpick at, such as some of the boss fights.

For whatever its worth, the only game I've ever played that I'd score a full 10 is Ocarina of Time. My "favorite" game of all time (Deus Ex) I'd score about a 9.5. In this case, I felt a 9.5 was too low, and a 10 was too high. Deal with it.

 

[Andrew]

I'm about the blow you up Jay. You're an idiot with no hair and your opinion on Batman AA is voided. Yes, the bosses were fifty times bigger than Batman, but they all played differently. You never did the same thing fighting Bane as you did fighting Ivy. I'm going to chalk up any other nitpicks to you being butt hurt over DNF.

However, you'd give OoT a 10 off the bat. So your saying no other game deserves OoT's score? Batman AA is a 10/10 and you're to dumb to see it. It's right up in the perfectly scored games category. You also thought 9.5 was too low, but felt just perfect at 9.7. Come on boy, now you're just being stupid for the sake of being stupid.

Batman: Arkham Asylum is a perfect score worthy game and Jay is a bald headed idiot. Deal with that.
[video=youtube;Fo48YpNOesQ]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fo48YpNOesQ[/video]

 

[Jay]

I'm about the blow you up Jay. Your an idiot with no hair.

Oh the irony.


Batman was an incredible game, but it wasn't perfect. You're a Batman fanboy. You're going to find everything Batman related infallible, much like myself with DX and Logan with Mega Man. There isn't anything wrong with that, but it doesn't mean you should go nitpicking at people just because their opinion is different than yours.

tl;dr:

DEAL WITH IT NERD

 

[Andrew]

[video=youtube;gA6hZ4f34II]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gA6hZ4f34II&feature=related[/video]

http://www.metacritic.com/game/xbox-360/duke-nukem-forever
http://www.metacritic.com/game/xbox-360/batman-arkham-asylum/critic-reviews

Jay's game of the year, ladies and gentlemen. Let's all gaze upon the opinion of the man who said Duke Nukem Forever would be an amazing game, be at least 15-16 hours, and sell a million copies easily. You couldn't decide whether to get Arkham City or Rage. YOU'RE a fucking moron.

You still haven't said what wasn't perfect about Batman: Arkham Asylum. All you've managed to say is "bosses" and "it's not OoT". That's a real structured argument there baldy. I also like how you show up two years late to the party. You claim to be a batman fan, and yet you bought it for the rinky dink PC. Jay, you know nothing about Batman or about what shampoo works best. You only managed to justify a 9.7 with "it's not your opinion". Jay, I stamp a failure on that bald spot.

Also, if I wanted to have my grammar checked, I'd go to a fucking grammar class. I'm not that worried that a bald sandwich maker caught a mistake.

Come on Jay, another deal with it? You always manage to run something into the ground, don't you? Get some new material son.

 

[Logan]

 

[Jay]

Dude, seriously? You're getting all bent out of shape over a .3 difference on a review score. We both agree Batman: AA is incredible.

Chill.

[video=youtube;5zuhxfrXocw]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zuhxfrXocw[/video]
[video=youtube;YPIsTKpAoE4]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YPIsTKpAoE4[/video]

And if you absolutely must know what I didn't like in Arkham Asylum:
-Boss fights were too easy. The game is about being a "detective", and I think the boss fights would have been better if you had to figure out their specific weaknesses and exploit it. The Titans, Bane, Croc, and Ivy could be defeated with Batarangs and a few punches. The Joker fight wasn't even that much of a fight. He jumped in, tried to smack you around a bit, and sent his goons on you.
-The cutscenes were in a very low resolution, which I found pretty damned odd to be honest.
-The AI in stealth sequences could use a little work. Many times I'd do a stealth takedown right next to someone and they didn't even notice. I should be in their peripheral vision, which sort of broke the immersion when the dude I'm choking is flailing his arms like a mad man and the dude right next to him doesn't give a damn.

Still, MINOR gripes. Batman: Arkham Asylum is one of the best games I've ever played. So what if I don't think it's perfect? It's still amazing.