- Nov 10, 2003
- 13,236
- Admin
- #1
[video=youtube;Tf_f4Lwfrd4]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tf_f4Lwfrd4[/video]
Duke Nukem Forever, it's strange to even utter those words without ending in some sort of joke. However, believe it or not, Duke Nukem Forever has finally released. The perennial laughingstock of the gaming universe has risen from the ashes and has finally made his current gen debut. Following about 10 months of solid hype, Duke has been met with almost universal distaste. As a "fringe Duke fan" if you will, I've played the game through and I feel that I'm more than capable of rendering a fair judgement.
Anybody who has a pulse and plays video games no doubt knows about Duke Nukem Forever and its infamous development cycle. After 14 years of "continuous" development, we're left with a game that is nothing more than a keen reminder of how far we've come. DNF is a game ripe with technical problems, strange design choices, and an overall lack of polish. All of these things combine to make a truly mediocre package, especially when the full-priced experience is met with the astronomical hype that was equal parts legend and over promising by developers. When one is dealing with a game so troubled as this, it's hard to determine where to begin. In Duke's case however, we'll focus first on the gameplay.
The real breadth of any game is directly related to how it plays, and this is where DNF falters first and foremost. Duke Nukem 3D was a hallmark for not only good game design, but tight and fluid run-and-gun encounters. DNF scratches all of this in favor of a cobbled-together design of the past decades most mediocre efforts. Rather than the lightning-quick and rewarding gameplay of D3D, Duke Nukem Forever opts for a slower and more derivative approach that leaves it feeling not only clunky, but completely uninspired. Each time you faceoff with the boneheaded AI is more embarrassing than the last as you spray and pray while you hope that the enemy runs straight into your bullets or mercifully kills themselves through some sort of poor environment-induced suicide. The worst part of the whole affair is that when you're not suffering through the sleep-inducing gunfights, you're faced with equally transparent vehicle/puzzle sequences. No matter what aspect of the game you look at, they all suffer from the same problems: unoriginality combined with obvious obsolescence. There is simply no segment of this game that feels fun or enjoyable in any modern context. The gunplay was old in 1999, the periphery segments were old in 2001, and the puzzles were dated by 2005.
Even with all of these active problems, the game's biggest fault arises with its simply piss-poor level design. Gone are the open environments that gave Duke 3D a sense of exploration and wonder and in are senseless corridors of enemies that make the game feel like nothing more than a glorified shooting gallery. This game does an awful job of bearing its 14 year life cycle and shows its age at almost every turn when you're engaged with it. Unbelievably however, the game fares even worse when it comes to the technical department.
Before I even start to lambast the game for it's numerous glitches, bugs, and shortcomings, let me state that I went into this game wearing rose colored glasses. I wanted to like this game and I was certainly willing to forgive dated tech when said infrastructure implemented was accompanied with fantastic gameplay. Unfortunately, that is obviously not the case with Duke Nukem Forever. From texture pop-in, to framerate inconsistencies (lol), to horrendous load times, to extremely dated graphics, DNF has every problem you could imagine. Now I strongly doubt that any of this was intentional, it's just that it leaves this game feeling not only like a fossil amongst its contemporaries, but it leaves the game with that budget title feel that is just inexcusable for a full retail game. It's true that beauty is only skin deep, but as was chronicled earlier in this review, DNF is just as ugly beneath as it is on the surface.
As we near the end of the plethora of problems this game faces, we conclude with one of the most important facets of the experience: the presentation. Duke Nukem is a rare creature, one endowed with such charisma and bravado that it allows people to laugh with him, love him, hate him, and live vicariously through him all at the same time. Even with the other aspects of the game failing miserably, this is the one ace in the hole that the developers had when they secured the Duke Nukem license...or so they thought.
Duke is as controversial as ever, yet it completely backfires in this latest effort. The lines that were once hilarious are now stale and antiquated and the antics that were once groundbreaking and edge-pushing are now just shock value stunts that are more likely to offend than please. The game feels as though it has no soul, merely exploiting the character with a familiar face and voice to no avail. Duke's persona that could once be interpreted as a glowing parody of the 80's action stars now just feels like a hollow ripoff whose only purpose is to snag a few cheap laughs from pre-pubescent boys who have yet to discover the power of the internet. Some may call his quips bad writing, some might call his attitude dated, but everyone must agree that Duke in this current form is irrelevant.
In the end, Duke Nukem Forever is one of the most disappointing games I've ever played in my life. As I told my friends earlier, it's not the worst game I've ever played, but it's easily one of the worst I've ever beaten. I saw it through to the end hoping to see a glimmer of hope, some ray of light that would lift it from this crushing mediocrity. However, such a godsend never came, and this game faltered at almost every turn. Any chance for redemption was met with a crushing flaw that tarnished the game and left it with virtually no chance whatsoever. Duke Nukem Forever was the gaming industries largest joke for more than decade, and sadly, the game itself is a more than fitting punchline to such a sad affair.
1.5/5
