Duke Nukem Delayed Forever

Why am I represented as bigger than Oobs? C'mon now.
 
http://www.joystiq.com/2011/05/16/d...june-3-for-borderlands-goty-owners/#continued

Seriously? Almost three fucking weeks from now? God DAMN this game is confirmed for TERRIBLE. They don't want anyone to play it.


AND LET ME GO AHEAD AND PREDICT THE FUTURE POST

Jay said:
Well, I'm Jay! All the previews have been really positive so I just say this over and over again every night because I'm scared of the game sucking!
Click to expand...

Plus, this seems to indicate that it's only for Bordlands GOTYers? Not Gamestop people?
 
Well, here's what we know so far:

-Game will be a flop. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY will want to play it. Because it's TERRIBLE (Even though it's exceeded preorder expectations)

-It's got TERRIBLE graphics

-It's got a TERRIBLE framerate

-It's got TERRIBLE WEAPONS

-It's got TERRIBLE AI

-The release date for the FAC demo is just TERRIBLE (This one is actually true.)

-It's an FPS, which is a TERRIBLE genre

-The game will have a TERRIBLE STORY

-John St. Jon is a TERRIBLE voice actor

-3Drealms and Gearbox are both TERRIBLE companies

-It's got over the top gore and objectifies women, which is TERRIBLE

Here's my reasoning as to why Gearbox has taken over the project:

Randy Pitchford, President of Gearbox Software, starting out his professional video game career working at 3DRealms as a level designer. Soon after getting hired in 1997, he became disgusted with the Duke Nukem franchise (see:It's terrible), so he left and founded Gearbox Software. When 3Drealms went bankrupt in 2009, Randy saw how close to completion 3Drealms had come. Horrified that another studio might pick up the game, finish it, and release it, he invested $20 million in Gearbox's money to purchase the rights to the Duke Nukem Forever game and IP, so he could perpetually delay it and keep up the myth of Duke never coming to fruition. To further entice gamers, he announced a demo date a week a half before the game is "supposed" to be released, knowing that the world will end on May 21, 2011. Randy has completed his mission. We will never play Duke Nukem Forever. ALL HAIL RANDY PITCHFORD!

It all makes sense!


BITCHRAP.jpg

:therock2:
 
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Pretty objective viewpoint on the subject. If I want a non-bias opinion of DNF, Jay is where I'll go for it.

:ryan:
 
You lied to me.


You lied to me, Jay, and that hurt.
 
We need a randy smilie. Which of course would enter as :penispump:
 
:megaman:

What interest would the blue bomber have in Golden Corral on veterans day?
 
Maybe he's earned Veteran status for defeating Wily all those times and he knows that that free meal isn't gonna eat itself.
 
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