- Sep 1, 2010
- 2,574
Dear Mr Cook,
While we may have only met face-to-face one time, I feel that you and I are good friends. We've had some good times over the years. You also introduced me to Chris, Bayli, and Travis, an act I am grateful for, since I'd consider all of them friends.
At this point in the letter though, I must digress from ass kissing and get to the point: You are the biggest humpty bumpty twinkle toed slack jawed faggot ass motherfucker the planet has ever seen. I mean, you're like Donald Trump without fame and fortune, you're like Christain Bale without the sex appeal.You look like Chris-Chan and have the ego of Duke Nukem, so whats with all the Humpty Bumpty? All you are is a poor ass fat stinking drunk with a pissant sense of entitlement. Hey, why don't you take some of your grandmothers monthly allowance and spend it on something other than Nazarios and Beer? Spend it on clothes, cologne, and maybe some breath mints.Perhaps if you spent a little less time fantasizing over a pixelated Chinese woman with Legs the size of Dolph Lundgren's Biceps, you might be at a slightly better station in life.
Take a good long look at this picture, because it's the closest thing you'll ever get to the opposite sex.
That is all.
While we may have only met face-to-face one time, I feel that you and I are good friends. We've had some good times over the years. You also introduced me to Chris, Bayli, and Travis, an act I am grateful for, since I'd consider all of them friends.
At this point in the letter though, I must digress from ass kissing and get to the point: You are the biggest humpty bumpty twinkle toed slack jawed faggot ass motherfucker the planet has ever seen. I mean, you're like Donald Trump without fame and fortune, you're like Christain Bale without the sex appeal.You look like Chris-Chan and have the ego of Duke Nukem, so whats with all the Humpty Bumpty? All you are is a poor ass fat stinking drunk with a pissant sense of entitlement. Hey, why don't you take some of your grandmothers monthly allowance and spend it on something other than Nazarios and Beer? Spend it on clothes, cologne, and maybe some breath mints.Perhaps if you spent a little less time fantasizing over a pixelated Chinese woman with Legs the size of Dolph Lundgren's Biceps, you might be at a slightly better station in life.
Take a good long look at this picture, because it's the closest thing you'll ever get to the opposite sex.
That is all.
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