April fools

SuperAfroBoy

Vertical Bacon Sandwich
Super Mod
Nov 10, 2003
5,129
So I figured I'd do something for April fools day, and here it is. I sent a fake outage report to my boss, here is what a typical outage report looks like:

OLS Outage Report
Site/skill Impacted: Timmins Connections
Outage Report update # : 1
Owner: *****
Ticket #: 13517
Date: March 30th 2011
Outage Start time: 7:03am EST
Skill/ Queue:
ETR: NA
Next update: 8:30am EST
Outage Level: 1
# CSR’s Scheduled: NA
#CRS’s affected: NA
Impact: Yes
Update Distro: *****

Action Taken: (Pages/Status)

Advised by ticket at 7:20am EST

Called Local I.T. at 7:25am EST

Called Northern Tel at 7:27am EST


Update Details (What has changed)

Timmins is loosing connection every 5-10 mins causing agents to drop ICM causing longer calls. Calls are NOT dropping. Local I.T. Andrew is on his way in.


Timeline (Including previous updates and times)

Advised by ticket at 7:20am EST

Called Local I.T. at 7:25am EST

Called Northern Tel at 7:27am EST


Outage Classifications:

Level 1 production impacting outage as a result of an OLS internal issue (IE server failure)

Level 2 production impacting outage as a result of a supplier issue (IE fiber break)

Level 3 production impacting outage as a result of a client side issue (IE Citrix outage)

Level 4 is a non production impacting outage.( IE Email or CMS outage.)





And here is my fake one:

OLS Outage Report
Site/skill Impacted: Timmins
Outage Report update # 01
Owner: Mike Llewellyn
Ticket # 5318008
Date: April 1, 2011
Outage Start time: 9:00am EDT
Skill/ Queue: NA
ETR: NA
Next update: NA
Outage Level: Level 3
# CSR’s Scheduled: 8
#CRS’s affected: 4
Impact: Mutants attacking site
Update Distro: mutantattack.***@****.com

Action Taken: (Pages/Status)

Mutants attacked the started attacking the site at approximately 9:00am local time. Site IT has tried communicating with the mutants, but it just seemed to anger them. They are not responding to emails, tweets, or pokes on facebook. The doors were barricaded, but since the local IT is no handyman, the mutants made short work of the blockade. When we last checked with the site, only a few agents had been taken by the mutants. We assume they are being taken back to the mutant's HQ located under the city of Timmins, but that is unconfirmed at this time.


Update Details (What has changed)

It turns out that the mutants have one weakness: bullets to the head. Local IT and the on site Helpdesk Tech are currently working to eradicate all instances of said mutants at the site, but expect to lose a few more staff before the blight is removed.


No contact has been made to the site since 12:00, assume the worst.



Timeline (Including previous updates and times)

9:00am - First mutants spotted, first thought to be homeless people

9:15am - Mutant presence confirmed when they started eating the agents

9:50am - Mutants have consumed three agents, local IT aware of issue and investigating

11:00am - Mutant weakness verified, local IT is working on eradicating them

12:00am - Contact from site has been lost, assume the worst.



Outage Classifications:
Level 1 production impacting outage as a result of a gas leak from the local Helpdesk Tech (IE Gilles farted)
Level 2 production impacting outage as a result of a meteorite, dinosaur attack, or werewolf sighting (IE some weird shit going on)
Level 3 production impacting outage as a result of a mutant attack (IE giant gerbils, rats, etc)
Level 4 is a non production impacting outage.( IE Flash games are not working, so now Andrew has nothing to do all day.)




So yeah, what did you guys do for April Fool's Day?

TL;DR VERSION:
I sent a fake outage report to my boss for April Fools Day, what did you guys do?
 

Logan

Administrator
Nov 10, 2003
13,236
We corrupted a second grader through Xbox Live!

[video=youtube;PZqWKSSzhYE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZqWKSSzhYE&feature=feedlik[/video]
 

SuperAfroBoy

Vertical Bacon Sandwich
Super Mod
Nov 10, 2003
5,129
  • Thread starter
  • Moderator
  • #3
i expected the "do you expect me to read all that shit" as the first reply.
 

Chris

Sweet Little Lies
Senior Member
Jan 15, 2011
2,157
Nah I actually read it all. Pretty funny stuff.
 

Casey

I'M A GAY SON!
Senior Member
Nov 10, 2003
2,960
Nah I actually read it all. Pretty funny stuff.

I read it all as well.

We corrupted a second grader through Xbox Live!

[video=youtube;PZqWKSSzhYE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZqWKSSzhYE&feature=feedlik[/video]

You guys are so fucking cute I could kiss you all. Where was Bayli!

Want to hear Bayli's damn voice!
 

Casey

I'M A GAY SON!
Senior Member
Nov 10, 2003
2,960
I want Bayli to record a message for MEEEEEEEE!
 

Dave

We'll bang, okay?
Senior Member
Oct 7, 2006
3,335
Nah, Squiggs is the man.

Once you get past the crazy, mumbling jigaboo language of Spartong's, he's actually pretty cool too. I don't think he's a little kid though.
 

Logan

Administrator
Nov 10, 2003
13,236
Spartong is the greatest mystery of the western hemisphere.
 

Dave

We'll bang, okay?
Senior Member
Oct 7, 2006
3,335
Seriously.

1) He's legally retarded
2) He's some foreign kid with very poor English skills
3) He's a certified genius just screwing around with us

I'm thinking it's somewhere between one and two.

:chawmp:
 

SuperAfroBoy

Vertical Bacon Sandwich
Super Mod
Nov 10, 2003
5,129
  • Thread starter
  • Moderator
  • #13
convo i just had with my boss:

[5:54:49 PM] Mike Llewellyn: we have a winter storm warning in effect for tonight
[5:55:28 PM] Mike Llewellyn: i don't think it will be enough to cause a power outage, but just letting you know
[6:01:17 PM] Andrew ***: snow? wow
[6:01:36 PM] Mike Llewellyn: apparently 10-20cm, but I'll believe it when i see it
[6:01:52 PM] Andrew ***: that is what she said
 

Dave

We'll bang, okay?
Senior Member
Oct 7, 2006
3,335
that might be the first "that's what she said" that I ever actually lol'd at.
 
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