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Oh god he is so hot...

At least I can get a woman!

Oh is that supposed to be Tarv? You def got the eyes right. Cause that's the only part Travis would ever show me pictures of a thousand years ago.

Sweet. I'm going to write that word for word on a recipe card for my box.

Jay's Hair: 1/10 I only gave him that one because he isn't *completely* bald.

That taco makes me sad.

Did you beat the last two bosses?

ON it like a bonnet.

That would be like porn to me.

The last batch I made wasn't too bad because I did that. Well, I didn't overmix. I didn't wait though, didn't realize that was a step. But I made them with whole wheat flour so it wasn't a good control.

Well she quit her job just so she could play it.

You actually watched that pile of elephant dung? WILLINGLY!?

Hmm, perhaps I should try that...

One thing I am terrible at, that apparently Melissa is thebomb.com at, is pancakes.

I think I excel at breakfast.

Mother said the trick is to use bacon grease in the base. I added too much flour and instead of just adding more grease, I panicked and added the milk. Write down your recipe for me. I just found one online and tried to wing it.

So I tried to make sausage gravy the other day for the very first time. I panicked and it became bacon paste.

I tried for about 15 minutes to convince Mike of the real story and he wasn't having it. I don't even know if it's much of a story, but I have heard it in the past. Mom and dad loved to tell tall tales or exaggerate details to a story.

Mike McSomethingorother seems to think he lost it in the service. I told him the real story and he didn't believe me. Said you told him the service story. I said that either he heard it wrong or someone told you the wrong story. Doesn't believe he could get into the service missing a finger.

Oh boy. Haha, what a fucked up life. I'm pretty sure everyone told us a different version of every event that we've ever been told about. Do you know how daddy lost his finger?